1. 5 days ago  /  190 notes  /  Source: noahandquinn

  2. butseriouslyy:

    koenisser:

    gentle reminder that cleopatra’s beauty is rumored to have started wars in ancient history

    gentle reminder that people are evolving to be more and more attractive

    gentle reminder that your beauty probably would have started at least 2 wars by now if you lived in 30 BC

    wat a gently delivered compliment thank u

    (via wheredidallthedreamersgo)

    1 week ago  /  257,501 notes  /  Source: vaxeens

  3. 1 week ago  /  7,123 notes  /  Source: neither-saint-nor-sinner

  4. edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

    edenwolfie:

    just-raowolf:

    edenwolfie:

    my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

    We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

    First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

    A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

    This was a good start.

    We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

    Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

    Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

    You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

    He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

    Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

    He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

    We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

    He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

    But I’m not.

    Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

    We’re married!?

    Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

    He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

    We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

    Vegetarian.

    Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

    We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

    You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

    They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

    He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

    Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

    I want a divorce!

    And he walked out of the classroom.

    The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

    I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

    holy shit that’s glorious

    (via msaether)

    1 week ago  /  289,199 notes  /  Source: edenwolfie

  5. photo

    2 weeks ago  /  18,168 notes  /  Source: sixpenceee

  6. If My Dog Could Talk

    Dog: WAT DOING

    Me: Nothing. I just stood up.

    Dog: WHERE GO

    Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.

    Dog: CAN I COME

    Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-

    Dog: I COME TOO

    Dog: WAT DOING

    Me: I need to open this door.

    Dog: I HALP

    Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.

    Dog: I HALP

    Me: Sigh.

    Dog: WHERE GOING

    Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.

    Dog: CAN I COME

    Me: Sure.

    Dog: I SIT IN LAP

    Me: No please don't you are-

    Dog: I SIT IN LAP

    Me: No there's no room and-

    Dog: LAP

    Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.

    Dog: RIGHT HERE

    Me: That's literally on top of my leg.

    Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME

    Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-

    Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME

    Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-

    Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME

    Me: I AM

    Dog: I SIT IN LAP

    Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME

    Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY

    Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE

    Me: .......

    3 weeks ago  /  124,851 notes  /  Source: schoolofstitchcraft

  7. photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    3 weeks ago  /  277,521 notes  /  Source: vikadi

  8. 1 month ago  /  59,915 notes  /  Source: ilikeubuturcrazy

  9. photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    photo

    1 month ago  /  144,750 notes  /  Source: ifitwerestine

  10. photo

    photo

    1 month ago  /  65,963 notes  /  Source: pugletto